One example of such a change commonly occurs in adolescence. During those years, many kids become involved in sports and other extracurricular activities, or want to spend more time with friends. So what is a parent to do when these interests cut into their scheduled parenting time? What happens when a child would rather participate in extracurriculars than spend time with their noncustodial parent?
]]> Unfortunately, forcing a child to spend time with a parent instead of attending their sports game or play practice may easily lead to anger, resentment and a damaged parent-child relationship. To avoid this, parents should see if they can become involved with their child's activity in some way, by coaching a team or simply attending a practice or game. This will allow the parent and child to spend time together, while giving the child the freedom to participate in his or her activity.If this is not possible, parents should consider reevaluating and modifying their parenting time schedule. As with most other family law issues, it is generally better if parents can do this on their own without going to court. This will allow them to craft a unique solution that is best for their children and their family.
Source: The Columbus Dispatch, "Parents ought to try adapting to teens' schedules," Jeffrey A. and Andrew Grossman
]]>This is why many family law attorneys and divorce financial planners urge couples to be as detailed as possible in their divorce and parenting time plans, and to write down all of the details on which they agree at the time of the split. In addition, parents may want to renegotiate their divorce agreements every few years until they are no longer covering any of their children's expenses.
]]> The reason for this is because of all of the small, unforeseen details that tend not to come up until a child has reached a particular stage in his or her life. For example, when a child wants to join a sports team, begin taking music lessons or attend summer camp, who decides where those activities take place and the budget for their costs? When they want to college, can they attend a community college or an Ivy League school?According to certified financial planner Lili Vasileff, failing to discuss these details can lead to trouble. "If you talk about the nature of the expense but not the character of it, then you're setting yourself up for all future arguments which the child realizes that they're the cause of," she said, "and that is very, very difficult."
Source: CNBC, "How to Provide for the Kids Post-Divorce," Elizabeth Alterman, May 12, 2012
]]>If you find yourself in this situation, it may be tempting to simply withhold your child support payments in an attempt to force your spouse to comply with the visitation order. However, that is probably not advisable.
]]> What most people fail to understand about the various issues within family law - child support, child custody, visitation and the like - is that they are relatively unconnected. The payment of child support and visitation rights are very loosely connected, and taking action in one area will not compel action in another.Specifically, child support is managed by the state Child Support Enforcement Agency. The agency will conduct a support review on a parent's request to determine whether the appropriate amount of support is being paid. However, the agency has no jurisdiction or control over child custody, and cannot compel a parent to comply with a child custody or visitation order.
Therefore, a parent who is seeking enforcement of such an order must go the traditional route - file a complaint and present evidence of a denial of visitation in court - in order to force the other parent to comply. Unfortunately, this is often a more costly, frustrating and time-consuming process than that which is facilitated by the child support agency.
Source: The Columbus Dispatch, "Child support, visitation not linked," Jeffrey A. and Andrew Grossman, May 6, 2012
]]>Although Harrison and Jones have not revealed many details about their impending divorce or its causes, some are speculating that their property division may become contested simply because of the jurisdiction in which they filed for divorce. Unlike Ohio, California family courts follow the laws of community property, which require that couples divide all of their marital assets evenly upon divorce.
]]> Anything that is acquired during the marriage, regardless of which spouse earned or received it, falls in this category. As a result, couples who have been married longer generally have more to fight over during divorce proceedings.To contrast, Ohio and 45 other states are common law property states. Specifically, Ohio follows the laws of equitable division, which gives family court judges the power to 'equitably distribute' a couple's marital assets, as well as their marital debt. To do so, judges will examine all of the financial details of a marriage, including what each spouse brought in, before making the determination.
In a statement, the couple said that the decision to separate was "incredibly difficult," but that they continue to have "love and mutual respect" for one another. Hopefully, they are able to reach a mutually agreeable settlement of all of their potential divorce conflicts, including property division, child support and custody, spousal support and various other issues.
Source: Reuters, "'The Bachelor' Host Chris Harrison is Getting Divorced," Edward Tan, May 4, 2012
]]>Specifically, the new e-filing system allows parties and family law attorneys to file complaints and documents relating to their case from any computer with Internet access. The program is expected to be available to the general public in the next couple of months.
]]> The move toward electronic family law filing is motivated largely by convenience on both ends. Parties to a family law dispute and their attorneys will no longer have to go down to the courthouse and wait in line to file their documents. In addition, e-filing will reduce the amount of paperwork to sort, file and store, making processes easier for parties, attorneys, and court employees.It is unclear whether electronic filing will result in cost savings to divorcing spouses or others who file family law cases. In Washington County, where court employees are currently considering instituting an e-filing system, officials say that divorce filing fees would likely remain the same, even if electronic filing becomes the norm.
Critics of the new system say that, while convenience is a major plus, e-filing removes the personal contact that is so important in many family law cases, especially those involving domestic violence.
Source: The Marietta Times, "Electronic filing may spread soon," Kevin Pierson, April 29, 2012
]]>According to Rosalind Sedacca, author of "How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce?", there are a few common mistakes that many parents make when navigating their children through a divorce. By avoiding these pitfalls, parents can make their divorce much easier on their kids and on the family as a whole.
]]> Mistake #1: Fighting or trash-talking in front of the kids. Children who hear their parents speaking negatively about one another often internalize those insults, thinking "If there is something wrong with my dad or mom, there must be something wrong with me because I love him or her." This can confuse the child and damage your relationship. Similarly, children who see and hear their parents fighting are often less happy and stable following the split.Mistake #2: Asking children to make choices. Being asked to choose between their parents can incredibly confusing and stressful for kids.
Mistake #3: Confiding in children. Some information is simply not suitable for children.
Mistake #4: Failing to continually remind your kids that they are not responsible for the divorce. Children often need a reminder that they are not to blame for their parents' unhappiness. Continue to give them this throughout and after the divorce.
Source: The Huffington Post, "Divorce Questions: How Do I Tell My Kids We're Getting A Divorce?" Rosalind Sedacca, April 27, 2012
]]>In Ohio, there is no set law to determine child custody or ingrained preference as to which parent should get custody. Instead, the family court judge overseeing the case will decide custody on a case-by-case basis, applying a set of guidelines known collectively as the 'best interest of the child' standard.
]]> This is not the case for parenting time, or visitation, as it is more commonly known in many jurisdictions. In an effort to maintain the relationships between the children and both of their parents, Ohio family court judges tend to order that the parents share parenting time. This means that the parents will share the legal responsibility to care for and nurture their children, and to provide for the health, welfare and education of the child whenever he or she is in the parent's care.This general preference on the part of Ohio family court judges can lead to some anger and frustration from parents, who feel that their child's other parent does not deserve parenting time and will not be a good caretaker of the child. While these feelings are understandable, it is important to understand that it is usually in the best interest of the child to have time with both parents, especially following the tumultuous events of a split.
Source: The Columbus Dispatch, "Shared parenting merely a starting point," Jeffrey A. and Andrew Grossman, April 22, 2012
]]>Identifying the certain factors linked to divorce can help predict it and even prevent it. In a new study, researchers followed married couples who reported being satisfied in the first four years of marriage. The couples rated personal traits, stress levels and problem solving as well as how supportive they were of partners. According to the research, there were some commonalities among the couples who were likely to divorce.
]]> 1) Poor communication. Couples who divorced were poor at communication and tended to display more negative emotions than people who stayed married.2) Use of blame or invalidation. Divorced or divorcing couples tended to blame or use invalidation in communication efforts. They also discouraged a spouse from expressing feelings. This involved husbands being more verbally aggressive, even at the outset of the marriage.
3) Dissatisfaction with life. Having less satisfaction with life can lead to unhappy marriage. Improving quality of life can also improve the likelihood that a marriage will survive.
Interestingly, the couples who divorced did not differ from the couples who stayed married in the long-term in how happy they were at the outset. The study heavily links communication and emotional issues seen at the outset of the marriage with divorce. It also suggested that there are often significant interpersonal issues that exist despite both spouses reporting satisfaction with the marriage.
The Atlantic, "What Kinds of Happy Couples Eventually Get Divorced?" Alice G. Walton, April 16, 2012.
]]>For many years, family law attorneys in Ohio and throughout the country have believed that a child's illness significantly increased the likelihood that his or her parents would divorce as a result of stress and similar factors. But according to a new landmark study, that may not be the case.
]]> The 20-year study comes from Denmark, where researchers looked at nearly 50,000 couples to determine whether the parents of children who are fighting cancer are more or less likely to divorce than the parents of healthy children. Specifically, they looked at public registry data for the parents of 2,500 children who had been diagnosed with cancer between 1980 and 1997. Researchers also compared 18 healthy children of the same age and gender to each ill child.After adjusting for variables such as parents' education and employment and the outcome of the child's disease, researchers found that there was no significant difference in divorce rate between parents of healthy and sick children.
Another recent study on the effects of a child's autism on their parents' marriage reached similar results, dispelling the myth that the divorce rate for the parents of children with autism was 80 percent.
Source: The Huffington Post, "Divorce, Cancer Delinked: Child's Illness Doesn't Tear Up Marriage," Natasha Burton, April 11, 2012
]]>There are four common objectives of a spouse who hides assets during divorce proceedings. He or she usually aims to hide or undervalue assets, overstate debts, report lower than actual revenue or report higher than actual expenses.
]]> These goals are usually accomplished using a few tactics, which are especially common among spouses who are self-employed or who are small business owners. These include hoarding unrecorded cash in order to avoid a bank record, hiding receipts for purchases made with that hoarded cash, and underreporting personal or business revenue.But according to one family law attorney, these harmful actions rarely go reported out of intimidation and shame. "Spouses married to persons lying, cheating and stealing in the divorce become demoralized. The spouse counts on the victim's will breaking down," he said. "Victims blame themselves and want to settle for less than a reasonable settlement."
However, because your divorce decree will likely shape the next several years of your financial future, it is in your best interest to report any suspicions of fraud and ensure that you get a fair resolution of your divorce case.
Source: Forbes, "21 Signs That Your Husband May Be Hiding Marital Assets During Your Divorce," Jeff Landers, Mar. 20, 2012
]]>But now, all 63 members of the House Armed Services Committee are backing the military child custody bill, hoping that a universal showing of support will be the push the bill needs to become law. The committee, which is expected to officially pass the bill in May, has now sent a letter to Defense Secretary Leon Panetta, asking for his support.
]]> Under the bill, courts would be prohibited from modifying or amending an earlier child custody order while a military parent is deployed in active duty. The only situation in which such an order could be modified would be if the court found that doing so was in the best interest of the child.The bill would also prohibit family court judges from factoring a present or potential future deployment into child custody decisions, ensuring that a parent's military service does not negatively affect his or her custody rights.
The goal of the bill, says Ohio Rep. Mike Turner, who sponsored the bill, is to make certain that military parents do not "have to live with the constant fear that their custody rights as parents could be in jeopardy due to their service."
We will continue to update our family law blog on any new developments in the progress of this bill.
Source: Air Force Times, "Bill would strengthen child custody protections," Rick Maze, April 2, 2012
]]>So what are divorcing couples supposed to do while they wait for their case to be decided in court? How do they decide who will live where and who will have the kids when?
]]> Typically, family courts will issue what are known as temporary orders to tide couples over until their divorce is heard in court and a judge issues a final decree. Usually, temporary orders are made regarding financial and custodial arrangements, so that the spouses will know where they can live during the divorce process, and will have a plan for sharing custody of their children. Other common temporary orders cover child support and parenting issues, and payment of a mortgage, rent or any other bills and debts.In many cases, the divorcing couple is able to reach an agreement regarding temporary orders. When that is not possible, a judge will review personal and financial affidavits and issue a temporary order.
One common question many divorcing couples have is whether their temporary order will affect their ultimate divorce order. While most court personnel will answer this question in the negative, there is really no way of knowing to what weight a judge will give a temporary order.
Source: The Columbus Dispatch, "'Temporary orders' apply before final divorce," Jeffrey A. and Andrew Grossman, April 1, 2012
]]>One reason for the declining divorce rate is the troubled housing market and the issues it creates for divorcing couples who need to sell their home as part of their divorce order or agreement. Clearly, the home needs to sell before its equity can be divided between the spouses. In the current market, that can take months or even years. Couples who are saddled with underwater mortgages or homes nearing foreclosure may experience additional difficulties in this area.
]]> In addition, family court costs are on the rise throughout Ohio. For example, the divorce filing fees are $222 for a couple without children in Butler County. If the couple has children, the fees increase to $330. Legal fees for dissolution are not much lower.But that high filing fee may not take couples through the entire divorce process, according to one Ohio family law attorney. "It's like going to a grocery store," he said. "You've got your initial filing fee, but most courts now charge for every single thing you file. Every procedure that's used adds onto the court costs."
Source: Middletown Journal, "Weak economy adds to divorce costs," Ted Cox and Skip Weaver, Feb. 21, 2012
]]>How can you do that? Just as every family is unique, there's not a one-size-fits-all answer to that question. There are, however, a few basics that consistently work well with respect to co-parenting.
]]> 1. Keep communicating with email, phone calls, texts, face-to-face discussions or whatever works best for the both of you. Avoid using children to deliver information.2. Keep the rules and routines in both households consistent. Whether it's homework, meals, bedtime, chores, TV or computer time -- kids need routine and structure. This is especially true after a divorce when the more predictable you can make your children's lives, the better.
3. Keep boundaries and behavioral expectations consistent too. Children often test limits or play one parent off the other to get things or gain special privileges. A unified front on parenting will prevent that and give your children a greater sense that all will be well.
4. Keep to the high road -- speak well of your Ex and the positive traits he or she has as a parent. When tempted to do otherwise, remember that your children love you both.
One last word to the wise: Don't expect perfection from yourself or your Ex. You will both make some mistakes along the way. The important thing after divorce is that you both stay committed to working together on raising your children.
Source: Psychology Today, "The Do's and Don'ts of Co-Parenting Well," Deborah Serani, Psy.D., March 28, 2012
]]>Ohio law currently defines a marriage as being between one man and one woman. It has been that way since 2004, when Ohio voters approved a constitutional amendment barring same-sex marriages. While this has forced Ohio same-sex couples seeking a legal marriage to travel to other states, the amendment to the state constitution did not limit the meaning of the words "dissolution" or "divorce" in a similar way.
]]> As a result, two Columbus men who got legally married in another state last year did not have to travel back there to dissolve their union. Last week, after a routine hearing lasting only about 10 minutes, a private judge appointed by a Franklin County Domestic Relations Court granted the couple's mutual request for dissolution.Although there have been only a few dissolutions or divorces granted to gay couples since the amendment's passage, the Ohio Campaign to Protect Marriage (an organization which led efforts to pass the amendment in 2004) filed a brief with the court nonetheless. The OCPM's essential argument was that granting a divorce or dissolution to same-sex couples would be a de facto admission that a legal marriage existed beforehand.
The private judge presiding over the case, however, seems to have reasoned otherwise.
One of the things this story highlights is the value of being able to work with your partner or spouse toward a mutual agreement on the major issues. When possible, this allows couples to dissolve their unions in a faster, less public and more dignified way, while saving a great deal of expense and aggravation in the process.
Source: The Columbus Dispatch, "Married in New York, local gay couple gets divorced in Columbus," Alan Johnson, March 23, 2012
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